Sad Story of My Wife; Mother of Our Kids

Chapter 3: MY WIFE & MOTHER OF OUR 3 KIDS ,TELLS ME I DON’T SATISFY HER SEXUALLY AFTER BEEN TOGETHER FOR CLOSE TO 13 YEARS.

Ndikufuna kuti ineyo ndikhale bambo woyamba to come out and speak out inner feelings, pains, abuses and experiences encountered in intimacy relations and/or marriage. Amunafe we were groomed never to shed a tear. Takhala tikhuphuzitsidwa kuti Mamuna salira amangosisima basi. Takhala tikunamizidwa kuti mamuna asamayakhule zakukhosi olo nkhaza zomwe amakumana nazo mubanja chifukwa aziwoneka ngati wofowoka komaso wopepela and wopusa.

Zimenezi zapangitsa azibambo komaso achinyamata ambili to commit suicide. Currently mu suicide deaths statistics of 2024 in Malawi zinawonesa kuti Azibambo anatsogola ndi 80% kuposa 20% ya azimayi ndi asungwana omwe anazipha.

#DISCLAIMER : Post iyiyi sinalembedwe kuti iyipitse mbiri ya munthu olo kufuna kufalitsa UMTHENGA WABODZA. Ndikulemba as munthu wokhudzidwa komaso in good faith to enlighten fellow men in similar situation like mine and others to learn and Garner courage to stand up to overcome depression and temptation to commit suicide.

This is in utmost interest of national importance as we are advocating for Mental health and awareness. Why am highlighting my divorce on Facebook,is because nthawi yomwe tikapanga ukwati ndinapangaso announce pa Facebook on 17th August,2018(see screenshot attached). So pangoyenela kutelo.

•Banja lathu tinadalitsa pa 8 September,2018 koma tidali titakhala pachibwenzi kwa zaka folo (almost 4 years). Ine ndi Ma Achisomo,both of us we are in our second Marriages, respectively.

•Banja langa linatha because I personally divorced my former wife because ndikafuna kukwatila Ma Achisomo. It was Consensual Divorce.

Banja la Ma Achisomo silinathe, anasiyana ndi mamuna (MHRIP) wawo chifukwa cha imfa. Ndipo imfa yake ndi ya suicide. Anachita kuzipha yekha poziponyela pa sitima. Chomwe anandifotokozela Ma Achisomo ine ndi chakuti , zifukwa zake zinali za mavuto abanja mwawo.

Ma Achisomo anakhala pa banja kwa zaka eyithi koma opanda mphatso ya mwana. We met around 5 – 6 months after burying her husband. The first day in her house in Steenberg, Capetown South Africa ( was a wendy house nyumba Yama tabwa- picture attached) tsiku lomwelo tinakazinga chipisi.

Kuchokela pamenepo kwa two months timapanga tsiku lililonse. Either abwela kwathu ku Kensington olo ine kupita kwawo. Then she got pregnant (ndinapatsa mimba). We went to Discherm and they confirmed yes she conceived and expecting a child.

Unfortunately, we couldn’t keep the baby as anali asanasuzilidwe kupanga allowed to stop wearing black cloth and chiliza anali asanamange. So if she were to keep the pregnancy pezi after 1 year ,ikuwonekela. Ndiye sizinakawoneka bwino kuchimuna kapena zinakatha kupeleka maganizo olakwikwa. So mimba inachotsedwa ku chipatala chaku Belleville.

After been set free, we courted for a year and few months. Then I moved in her house kuchoka kunyumba kwanga cholinga kuti tiziseva ma expenses, so we stayed in marriage by cohabitation for a year and few months then she got pregnant again. After 3 months we officially got married In 2019 and I bought a piece of plot in Malawi and started building, she resigned from her work when she was 5 months pregnant, kenako our first child was born. Fast forward to 2020.

I resigned from work to start my online business , then I came to Malawi to supervise 🏠 construction and as well register my company on 29th October,2020. I later participated several procurement events. I was awarded my first contract in January,2021. I delivered and was paid K2,500,000. And, someone gifted me K2,500,000, total K5,000,000. I went back to Capetown and told my wife we are coming back to malawi by faith. Zochitika zikawoneka konko.

After the birth of our child, we were having issues in our bedroom as she begun to deny me citing post traumatic pregnancy issues, as well fatigue komaso loss of libido due to contraceptives. I had to invite a senior married couple to counsel us on intimacy issue. This happened in Capetown not Lilongwe.

Titabwela kumalawi ndiye ma excuses left and right. Pena kumangokhala nyumba ngati chimwene ndi sister wache. Pena zimatheka mokakha paka ana awili kubadwa.

Nthawi zambili Ma Achisomo amati akutopa chifukwa ntchito za pakhomo. Then I decided to employ 3 maids (see attached advertisement,ndinafunsa pa Facebook popano kuti ndikufuna nanny) azimayi antchito atatu,each was paying K65,000. Cholinga changa ndimafuna iwowo asamagwilie ntchito ina iliyonse azingopanga supervise and kupuma basi. Cholinga ndikabwela ku ntchito ndikawafuna kuchipinda asamati atopa. Koma zimakanikabe it’s headache,gas olo maperiod olo chamimba olo kutopa olo sali mood.

From 2023 -2024 – timangokhala no kiss,no any form of intimacy. Olo hagi amakana. Olo kuwamenya nthako amadana nazo. This period mwina ngati tinagonanapo sikangapitilire ka 10 in two years. KOMASO kugonana kwake kokuti ndawakakamiza komaso yeyo kungoti bwela umalize.

While kuchipinda zikuvuta,mbali mu akundiyakhula mwamwano pamaso pa anthu antchito,ana anga komaso mokuwa mokuti kuno ku Airwing,ma nebas anga onse amadziwa ndine chitsilu chododedwa ndi zimayi because kunyozedwa,kupepesidwa, kutukwanidwa zakabudulu ndi kwa daily.

I tried booking nights at hotels kuwatenga kuti mwina tichenje environment zimakanikabe. I have taken her 6 times on my international business trips. Kupita kunja koma sekisi kumandikanabe olo kupanga moti sakufuna kungogona chagada,nkhope itayang’ana kumbali.

I endured everything from 2023 to 2024. Around october of 2024. I was extremely depressed. By this time zinandikwana pamaso pa anthu I was trying my level best to give a good picture of my marriage. I used every time celebrate her on this page. Kuchemelera,kumuyamikila pazabwino zomwe ndimawona pa iye. Koma yeyo on her page samandipanga post olo kundiyamikila. It was only me kupanga post. She randomly posted me on my birthday or our marriage anniversary. Ndikafunsa amati alibe nthawi yopanga post.

Ndimasowa kuti nkhaniyi ndikamuwuza ndani, sandiseka,sindiwoneka ngati chitsilu kwa azizanga. In November ndinagula tameki kuti ndiziphe. I don’t know how God rescued koma pezi pano mukuti Yamikani Nicholas Kachingwe anazipha KOMASO mwina pezi mukuti ndizipha kamba kangongole osati nkhani zabanja.

I gathered courage to inform my mother in law and my only sister who serves as a mother in our family. Both of them samakhupilira kuti I have endured for two years in a loveless, sexless marriage. And, they blamed me for keeping it inside me. Anati problem shared is half solved. This is in 2024 around November and December, here is what followed;

Both of them spoke with her. Ma Achisomo anamasuka kwa mai awo in their family WhatsApp group through voicenotes,anati :” ine Bambo Achisomo ndilibe nawo mafeelings,komaso sindifuna andiwigile thupi langali,amandinyasa ,he makes me comfortable , in short ndilibe nawo chilako lako china chilichonse.” Koma yeyo anaphatikiza ndi nkhani yoti ndinapasa makofi chifukwa chopepha ndalama kwa azimuna okwatila pamene yeyo ali kanzi wamwini komaso ali multi-millionaire payekha ( I will explain in Chapter 4 why Ma Achisomo is a Multi-millionaire).

KOMASO MAI ACHISOMO AMANDILIPILITSA KUTI NDIGONE NAWO. NDIKAWALIPILA AMANDIPATSA YONSE NDINGAFUNE NDIKAKANA AMAKANA. I EVEN WROTE A POST ON FACEBOOK ABOUT IT. SEE SCREENSHOT.

Apongozi anga anamuzuzula kumuwuzeso kuti akusambila manja l, banja lake likatha zikhala zofuna zache. Ma voicenotes alipo both amai Achisomo KOMASO Apongozi anga. I will release them another day.

Mai Achisomo zimawavuta kukhala bwino ndi azimayi antchito. Amayakhula mokhazula komaso mwamwano,amafuna kugwadwilidwa ngati Mfumukadzi. Ali ndi katima ka umbombo. Kuwelenga nthuli muphika, kuwelenga ma slice a bread. Amalorela zakudya kuwola mu fridge than kupatsa watchito. Zonsezi Azimayi antchito opitilira 10 alipo ndipo they gave their testimony in recorded voicenotes.

Ndiye amafuna kuti ineyo azindituma kukakalipila antchito akatenga mutu wa nkhuku wawo omwe iwo amawukonda olo akatenga chiboda olo akamwa sobo olo kudya nthotchi olo akalikwisa china chilichonse. So ine ndimakana kuti chonde musandikhuzitse zinthu zaku kitchen. Am a man zimenezo ndi za azimayi.

Vuto lina,Mai Achisomo anadya matako agalu satha kukhala pankhomo. Amangokhalira kuyenda especially pomwe ndinawapasa boutique shop. Amachoka 8am kufika 7pm from Monday to Friday.

Our last baby,amamwa S26 gold. So ndinawawuza they should give me notice two days in advance asanathe because kakawo ndiwodula, sindikuyenela kupanga budget.

Tsiku lina, nanny wina zina lake Mwiza. Mwiza amapanga kaka wamasana whilst Mai Achisomo amapanga wa utsiku wogonela. It happened kuti iwowo abwela utsiku. Then anapeza kuti kaka watha sufika mamawa.

Anayamba kumulalatila tsikana uja ati: Ma Achisomo: Bwanji sunawone kuti kaka ukutha kapena kunena?

Mwiza: Pepani,lero tidali bize komaso mesa inuyo mumapangilaso utsiku ndiye ndimaganiza kuti mukuziwa?

Ma Achisomo: Za manyi zimenezo. Ndi udindo wanga owona zomwe zatha nyumba muno,zopusa ndimadana nazo. Mukufuna mundikalipitse kwa Bambo Achisomo?

Mai Achisomo anatenga chitini cha empty cha S26 Gold ndikugenda nacho nanny uja. Nanny came to me panja angolira.

I went to Mai Achisomo and told her nonse munalakwisa,komaso inuyo Mai Achisomo nyumba ino ndi yanu osati atsikana antchito. Why iwowo azikhala bize kuyendetsa nyumba yako. Because umangokhalira kuyenda yenda that’s why pano ukulephela kuziwa zomwe zikuchitika nyumba mwako.

See three WhatsApp Conversation Screenshots attached.Mai Achisomo sent those messages to me and these were her words;

” Ndiwe Mamuna Wopusa, Chitsiru,wozaza mamina mutu, Chitsiru cha Munthu,I will never forgive you for supporting ma nannies over me, ndipo USAZANDIGWILESO NTHUP LANGALI NGATI ZINGA KUWAWE YOU CAN DIVORCE ME.” She went further to add:”MAMUNA WOPUSA NGATI IWE SINDINGAMUTSEGULIRE MIYENDO, IDIOT,BOLASO NGATI UMAFIKILAKOSO,Mxii.”I asked , ngati ndimafikila kutiko?

She never responded. In short what she meant is; after giving her 3 kids,after loving her and living with her for 12 years, she has realized I don’t satisfy her sexually. In other words it means there was or there is someone who is better than me in bed.

Zimenezi zimandisowetsa Mtendele. I consulted a legal advisor and to commence divorce filing. But my biological father stopped me and said I should give my Marriage another chance , the issue we kept with close family members. I cancelled the divorce submission.

We then went to Tanzania together (picture attached) for the very first time in two years we had the best intimacy and sexual relations as a husband and wife right there. And, everything went well.

Then in January,2025 ndipomwe amapephetsa ndalama kwa mamuna wapabanja,ati amafuna Fanta ndi KFC komaso kundinyoza yet ndapanga sponsor trip yopita kutanzania just few weeks ago.

Fast forward to March – April. I bought a piece of land for my daughter Chimwemwe. Something evil and disappointing occurred( will explain in Chapter 10) that led me to re-open my divorce case and file it.

So ,yes I filed for Divorce because My wife of 13 years anandiwuza kuti I make her uncomfortable ndimakagwila mabele olo kuyamwa ma titties ake komaso ati alibe nane mafeelings komaso amandikana kuchipinda.

Pokha,pokha ndilipile ndipomwe angandipatse yonse NDINGAFUNE. Zimenezi amawawuzaso atsikana antchito kuti ine Bambo Achisomo ndimawalipilitsa. Ineyo was just pampering her I didn’t know kuti amazitengela serious.

Yes so ,the reason I divorced her is:

SHE ABANDONED HER SPOUSAL DUTIES AND INTIMACY DESERTATION, DENIAL OF INTIMACY.

#Conclusion

Pali anthu ena amati,iwe Yamikani think about the kids.Kodi inuyo zomwe mwawelenga mwambamo. Why the mother of three kids analibe nazo ntchito kuti banja lake litha kutha. Why are you interested to reserve her respect pomwe mwina wakeyo alibe nazo ntchito ngakhale ali Mai wa Dorica.

This is the reason why I stopped going to Church.So many hypocrites.She never missed church service koma yet pankhomo akunditukwana “Machende ako,Pantumbo pako.”Kodi what if I didn’t speak out last year ndikuzipha. Ndiye kuti munakasangalala?Why do we rush to judge munthu when he is crying out for help? Do you know the reason I announce my Divorce publicly? She challenged me kuti:

“Stop stalking me,why are you obsessed with me mesa wati sukundifuna? Fulumila ndi Divorce yakoyo, Amuna Azako Anzeru anditole.” That’s when I realized Mai Achisomo never loved me. She used me to heal during her mourning period. She stayed with me coz I made her pregnant komaso I had potential to become a millionaire.

She later got millions from me and become independent financially. Ndipamene nthupi lake linayamba kundikana automatically because she never loved me, that’s why amanyasidwa ndikamugwila because thupi limakana linatop kupanga pretend.

So these 13 years it was just a lie. MY FORMER WIFE NEVER LOVED ME THAT’S WHY AMATHA KUNDITUKWANA ZAKABUDULA KOMASO KUNDIPEPUSA KWA MA EX-BOYFRIEND AKE.

Can you imagine Ma Achisomo amalumbila ka folo bayibulo manja uku akulira kuti sanandipangepo cheat olo kucheza ndi EX-BOYFRIEND mosefukila. Lero ndi izi. Mfiti yayikazi ndiyowopsyatu. So ndinayika pa fesibuku za divorce zo kuti Amuna anzeruwo adziwe kuti ine ndathana ndi Mai Achisomo atha kuwakwatila.

Why am I publishing these Chapters is because I want my fellow Men to gather courage and to to know it’s okay to speak out. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to say am abused by my wife. Abuse is not only violence. Emotional,Verbal, Sexual, Financial and Denial Of Marital Intimacy can also be deemed as abuses.

Tsono mumakayakhula mu mapage mwanumo pofuna mafollowers please do share facts awa. Ine sindili muchigoba. Ine I don’t cut corners. I speak live and direct. Kodi mumafuna ndiziphe ngati mamuna zanga uja?

I refused to commit suicide. I chose to stand up and fight for my freedom.

I chose to walk away from An abusive, Manipulative,Toxic, Narcissistic, Loveless, Sexless, Joyless and Hypocritical Marriage.

A sham of Marriage. Never again. I don’t care if you want to call me a COWARD OR WEAK. Am owning my Truth. Am writing my own true life story. I have my pen and paper. I shall share everything I endured in my marriage of 1e years.

Ena kumafunsa kuti kodi palibe zabwino zomwe Mai Achisomo amapanga. Muwelenge zomwe ndakhala ndikulemba pa page pano for the past 7 years about her. Ine sindisiya until Chapter 20. Dziko lonse lidziwe china chilichonse kuti Ndizotheka komaso zikuchitika mamuna kuzuzidwa mu banja ndipo is possible for a MAN TO SPEAK OUT WITHOUT FEAR OF BEING CALLED A COWARD.

LOADING 👇.

Chapter 4: HOW I EMPOWERED MY WIFE TO BECOME A MILLIONAIRES AND SELF RELIANT BUSINESS WOMAN.